Up and Down

Sometimes I feel up already and other times, I feel down again. Work is not helping me these past few days. It's hard to move on with my tasks... I get emotional when my superior raises his voice.. and the AC being broken for more than a week now is killing me. So freaking hot and it's affecting my mood. I easily get irritated. Just when I thought I was making a good progress already, situations still put me down.

I don't know also what I want. I really need to regain my trust in myself. I'm wounded and I feel like I'm scared to get more wounds. I feel like I should just be happy being single. Talking to another man and him telling that 80% of the men are bad, dang, how would I know if I could still get a man from the 20% the next time I fall again. It's kinda tiring already. Maybe, relationship is not for me. There were a lot of good times but the feeling that you're not only losing the relationship but also a good friend is such a shitty one. Why does thing have to be complicated? Why can't I just be happy, stay happy, seize the day and not think of possible problems?

I'm sorry if my posts lately are mixtures of good and bad. I'm afraid it might be like this for a while until I get used to this state again. Again I'm just being human.