Planning101

Last Friday, he asked me what do I want to be and what do I like doing in the future. I was having a bad week that time and I was shocked and couldn't really think. My answers were so general like I want to have a business of my own. Of course, he was trying to get specifics like what business I want and how do I plan to achieve that. Damn, I couldn't think straight. I said I know I want to have a restaurant or a clothing business but I have not really thought about the specifics of any of those. Of course, I asked him the same question and he was pretty clear on what he wants and how he can achieve it.

Today, we had lunch together. I was talking about how burned out I am and that I need a vacation. He said maybe, he can take a vacation with me and can check his schedule. So, I kinda got excited about it that he can have the time to go out and can even have at least a weekend get away from LA. Then he said but that will be expensive and I have to save. He said he figured that if he can increase his savings then he can probably buy a house in two years instead of his plan of getting it in three years. Again, he raised the questions to me, like what is my goal and plan. Do I plan to buy a house too and when? Omg, I was speechless. Everytime, I got these questions, I said that... I need to get my greencard first. Then he asked again like when will I get it? I don't know.... and I went on trying to escape his questions. Then he said that I should make plan now than wait for years to get my greencard and make a plan after that. He was even counting like how much I plan and save each month and giving me all the pointers.

Alright, I know he's right and his pointers are good. I must admit that even if I was pressured by his questions last Friday, I think he helped me get the motivation that I needed to get the work that was giving me a big headache that week, done. Although today, I felt really bad that I could not even concentrate on my work. I felt like questioning myself like... Am I really doing bad? and am I like a person without plan? I know when I was younger, I just thought too much. My boyfriend at that time was even asking me like why was I like that. Why did I have to have all these plans and he told me that I should not worry so much and enjoy my life. He also made me believe that we should be planning together and include each other in our plans and so we did that. So, I guess when that relationship failed , all my plans were shattered too. It was tough but I learned a lot.

After all the questions I had for myself today, I realized things. I'm a person who usually has plans and I even accomplished a lot of my plans in a matter of a year. I started here like working really crazy and seven days a week with a really low pay. I'm telling you I was doing way better in the Philippines as compared to my situation 1 1/2 years ago and back home, I could even afford to rent a studio apartment, to have my clothes washed and ironed (not by my family's helper but the laundry services), to have at least a massage and hot oil hair treatment once a month, to have a gym membership, to go have fun with friends even every night, to go shopping twice a month and to give my mom her monthly allowance. So, I said to myself that I should have that as a standard and I should prove to myself that I could have a good paying job in the States even if I'm just in H1B (that most companies here take advantage of and even try to pay less than the industry). I was able to do that and I got the job that would make me stay here and declined the offer that I had in Malaysia (which was a pretty good deal too... they were going to pay for my apartment there and would even give me one free round trip ticket every year to visit home). After 3 months of getting the job that I wanted here, I moved to renting my own room in a better area as to sharing a room with someone. 3 months after that, I got a brand new car (something that I never had in the Philippines since I did not really feel that I had a need for it there). 3 months after that again, I moved and rented my own studio apartment in a good area and not even a mile away from work. So, I do make plans and try my best to accomplish them. I think, I'm doing pretty good as compared to the other foreigners who are here too. He even said that I'm a cut above the rest and that I'm even doing better as compared to the average Americans here.

Oh well, I realized I should not really feel bad. Right now, I have not really made concrete plans, and I'm taking a break from all the hardships that I experienced here and I'm trying to enjoy the fruit of my labor. This is the only year that I can go out, watch a movie every week again, eat good food, shop the clothes and stuff that I want, build friendship with people, send my family the stuff that they want and find happiness in a place so far away from home and friends that I value a lot. This is part of my plans too but I think about my future as well. I try to save as much as I can but without really sacrificing my happiness. One definite plan I have is that there is no way I am going to be dependent to another person in order to survive. Wherever I go, I will have a good life and definitely I should be able to provide for myself and the family that I will eventually build.

Another realization I have is that he is really different from the other men I knew. Normally these questions would come from a woman talking to her man. I must say he is challenging me to focus on my plans and on ways to achieve them. Damn Milkboy, hahahaha! :)