All by myself, that's what I feel this week. I go home at night in a place that I'm not sure if I can consider home, wondering what am I doing in a state so far away. I can even count using my fingers the number of people that I can consider my friends here. I'm homesick... I miss my family and friends. I want to go out most of the time but I feel like I don't have that many friends to be with.
Am I having a bad week or not? I can't even tell. How can I make a good judgment on this kind of stuff when I don't even know what I want. I don't even know what I am doing here and I don't know where this journey here will take me. I thought when I was younger, I knew what I wanted but I was wrong. Maybe, it's not really that I don't know what I want but it seems like it's freaking hard to get it.
This is such a shitty feeling. I can't even trust my emotions and whatever I am feeling right now since I can't think straight. I am sorry, I think I'm looking for something that I don't have and that I'm doubting I will ever have. It sucks being so far away and alone sometimes. I have this facade that looks so strong but deep inside me, I am hurting. I want to be simple but it seems so complicated. I don't want to call this a quarter life crisis coz I don't want to live that long nor I can't call this a mid life crisis coz I'm not that old yet. Maybe, it's a one third life crisis if there's such a thing... well whatever this is, it's such a shitty stage. I need to help myself get out of this.
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